Of all the things I have learned from the Harry Potter saga, this is the most powerful to me. If you were to ask yourself what was Harry Potter’s greatest strength or asset; what would you say? I would say, “his friends.”

The strength of any person can be measured by those who are loyal to him. This was well illustrated by both Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore, who had such a large number of loyal followers, we cannot begin to list all of them. I hesitate to use the word followers, lest each of us think we need to gain followers (not referring to twitter friends). What I really mean by followers, is people who would readily come to your aid; people who would willing sacrifice their own needs or possessions to grant yours. In effect, people who love you.

We see this pattern over and over as Harry’s friends including Ron, Hermoine, Neville, Luna, & Ginny willingly put their own needs behind them in an effort to help and assist Harry. This was because of both their love for Harry and for their love of Harry’s cause.

Adults were equally drawn in to him. Dumbledore, Lupin, McGonagall, Hagrid, the Weasleys, and countless others were willing to sacrifice their own lives for him and several did.

Creatures including Dobby, Creature, Buckbeak, and Hedwig were eager to defend him and his interests.

The greatest assets anyone can have in their lives are the relationships they build. If you are a religious person, you understand further that your greatest asset is your greatest relationship; the one with your divine creator.

Cherish the people around you. Give them a reason to believe in you by believing in them. Relationships go both ways. The people who have the greatest influence and power, are those who have learned to love and cherish the greatest number of people.

Jacob S Paulsen

The Need to Know concept is mostly illustrated by Dumbledore in the Harry Potter series. Even when Snape asks him to explain what he is doing in his private lessons with Harry, Dumbledore replies with, “I prefer not to put all my secrets in one basket,…”

Dumbledore was a man of as few words as he could manage. This goes against human nature. Each of us has a natural desire to be part of a conversation and without even consciously thinking about it we naturally desire to turn the topic towards ourselves. Few things are as inherent in mankind as the constant need to talk about oneself. With that having been said Dumbledore’s relationships did not suffer because he was short or cold with people. He found a happy middle.

It is a sign of true control when one learns to master his tongue. I suspect that when Dumbledore was engaged in any conversation his thought process what probably closer to “does this person need to know this….” than to “there isn’t any reason I shouldn’t tell this person this…” What is this minor difference? The difference is between only telling people what is necessary and telling people anything or everything as long as you can’t forsee any future harm in it.

We never know what the future might hold or what things today that may seem insignificant might one day become important. However, we must not take this idea to the other extreme. Its one thing to control the human tendency to talk about oneself at every chance and a much different thing to tell people nothing at all. If we all spoke to each other in short, simple, need to know only statements the world would not be a better place.

Remember that our greatest assets are our relationships and making and maintaining strong relationships means sharing yourself with others, becoming transparent, and even dependent on one another. I’m simply suggesting that we bridle the natural human need to tell people everything we can about everything we feel is important to us. Its only in the happy middle of these two extremes that control and thus power over ourselves and our relationships can be strengthened.

Jacob S. Paulsen

Action: Be more conscious as you converse with others. Look back on your conversations to catch yourself bringing the subjects constantly back to you.

If I am currently following you on Twitter and you are looking for a way to get me to stop here are some suggestions:

1. Send me a DM (Direct Message) inviting me to join your ninja dojo or mafia family. This is so annoying and unprofessional that it will always cause me to unfollow you and then delete the dm.

2. Have a Twitter profile picture of a man or women with little to no clothing on. I assume people who feel the need to have mostly naked women on their profile are either promoting a business or product that is pornographic in nature or they think that dumb males will be more likely to follow them or click their links because of the image. Either way it makes me angry and guarantees an unfollow. Super unprofessional.

3. Send me a DM with a superficial and virtual gift, such as “I just sent you peace and happiness. You Should send me a gift back.” I hate these pointless and insincere games and I the only way I participate is by hitting the unfollow link on your profile.

4. Tweet 3-15 times within a 2 minute span. I follow more than 4000 people currently and so if I see more than one of your tweets on a single page of my timeline that means you have a serious problem. Either addiction to Twitter or you have a program tweeting constantly for you during the high traffic times of the day. Either way it just somehow bugs me. Perhaps because people like this very rarely have anything good to share.

5. Tweet the same link with a variation of text every 30 minutes. Some twitter profiles seem to have only one thing on their mind and that is to get you to visit their site. They change up the sales pitch to make it look different but the link is the same. They expect you to not notice because you don’t spend a lot of time in front of Twitter or because you follow enough people to make their redundant tweets not-noticable. Either way I think they are spammers and have nothing of value to offer me.

6. Use foul language. I don’t tolerate anyone who feels the need to use profane or foul language. The use of any generally accepted cuss words is a quick way to lose me as your followe. Its just not professional and while you may speak that way to your friends you shouldn’t do it with strangers. Either way you want to think of it we will both be happier when I stop following you.

7. Twitter snobs don’t get my follow. Some people feel so important about themselves that they expect people to follow them by the thousands when they are not willing to follow anyone back. Either they truly don’t think that anyone else has something of value to offer or they are simple hypocrites. Either way I won’t be one more follower that strokes their ego. There are of course some celebrity exceptions. People who have already been so successful that I don’t expect them to follow one million people just because that many people are interested in what they are doing.

8. Send me a DM with a link that is going to help me get more followers or learn how to make money on Twitter. I will first check your profile to see if you have more followers than I do. If you don’t (95% of the time) I will have to assume that your amazing program isn’t working for you and I don’t want to associate with spammers at all. If you have tons more followers than me I might even check out your link but I’ll still probably unfollow you simply because of the marketing methods.

9. Tweet in a foreign language that I can’t read. Its nothing personal but I just can’t justify following someone I can’t understand.

10. Setup multiple twitter accounts that all tweet the same thing. I don’t know for sure why people do this but if I figure it out I am sure to unfollow all of your profiles.

Do I sound like an angry person?

Do you disagree with my tactics or would you like to add your own reasons for unfollowing people?

Jacob S. Paulsen

Play to your strengths. It was Mad-Eye Moody who gave Harry Potter this advice when he encouraged him to think of his own strengths that would help him beat his dragon in the upcoming task. In the last 5 years it has been a consistent theme among personal development coaches to teach the focus on one’s strengths instead of the constant focus on improving one’s weaknesses. Nobody did this better than Harry Potter. He learned quickly what he was poorest at, and he surrounded himself with people who could compliment his weaknesses.

What he didn’t do is worry about what he was bad at, and spend all his time trying to improve. Did he study extra hard at Potions or Defense Against the Dark Arts? We need to take his example to heart. We must discover our greatest strengths and structure a life around them. Find a career that will play to your best atributes and surround yourself (especially a spouse) with people who can compensate for your greatest weaknesses.

The second half of this lesson to search out solutions to problems by focusing on your strengths. When trials stand in your way consider what you have to offer to the problem. What talent, resource, or trait are present in you that will allow you to overcome with the greatest speed and efficiency. It does little good to focus thoughts and time outside of your circle of influence. Consider that life never throws anything at you that you can’t overcome even if sometimes it will require the help of your truly greatest resource; your friends.

Our own belief system controls our reality.

In the Harry Potter book “The Half Blood Prince,” Ron believes that he has been given , the lucky potion. Because his own belief system is changed, his reality also changes. He performs as if he had been lucky. Clearly this effect would only work if Ron already had the skills necessary to perform. The important point is how our own beliefs change our reality.

Each of us live in a reality that is generated based on what we see and not what is actually there. This is a huge problem in relationships and discussions since none of us can understand the world as seen through anyone else’s perspective. This is a huge bonus however because it also means that you have the power within you to change the world by simply altering your own beliefs. This is done by filling your mind with positive thinking, good education, and hard work. By sharpening our skills and increasing our mental capacity we become capable of changing our own world around us.

In the same book when Harry Potter finally understands that he must kill Voldermort because of who he is and what he did to his family instead of the prophecy it changes everything. The end result is the same but his world changes because of the reason. In his words “It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to death and walking into the arena with your head held high.”  Dumbledore worked hard to explain to him the importance of this single thing because changing Harry Potter’s belief would alter his own reality and make him all the more likely to succeed in his task.

What does this mean for you? It means that you have control over your world. All the complaining about your job, life, family, or circumstance is your own fault. Not just because you are a whiner (although true) but more importantly because the things you whine about are shaped in your own reality because of your own belief system over which you have COMPLETE CONTROL.

It also means that the way to change your own world is to change your beliefs. This means learning, finding purpose, and understanding your own values. To live by your own values and be conscious of the act will cause in effect a peaceful and happy reality! You are the author of your reality and you hold the power to change it.

Back in March of this year I publicly declared my goal to run in a 1/2 marathon at the end of the summer. I registered for a race on August 8th and have been training all summer. I had some good stretches of training and some times where I was less faithful.

Every single time I went for a training run I recorded the data on www.buddyrunner.com/jacob and also updated my status on twitter and facebook to keep myself accountable to my online community.

Yesterday was the day of the race and I’m pleased to report that I survived! This is without any question the longest distance I have ever run at 13.1 miles. I am sore everywhere and even a day later my legs still feel like jelly.

We had to meet at the finish line at 4:45am to be shuttled in school buses into Provo canyon up South Fork Road. Being on the first bus up I had to wait in the cold and dark for two hours until the race started at 7am. The whole course was beautiful and peaceful as we would through Provo canyon along the river.

I estimate that there were over 3000 runners and this was a different type of runner than I’m used to seeing in my 5K and even 10K races in the past. These were serious runners. No baggy basketball shorts, a lot of heart monitors, and GPS tracking watches.

My wonderful wife Ami, son Simon, and parents were at the finish line along with my sister Shannon and her family. It was really great to have so much support. They had watermelon, pancakes, and granola bars for the runners at the finish line, but my dad brought me a couple of snickers bars (that or he happen to have a couple on it at the time) and a good thing too because I was weak and famished.

I finished in 1 hour 52 minutes and 33 seconds which is about 25 minutes faster than I had hoped for. This put me in 502nd place overall and 32nd in my age group 25-30.

All around a very satisfying experience!

Every year I listen to the Harry Potter books. Something about the epic story really captivates me. As I am moving through the books right now I intend to post a series of posts on personal development lessons we can learn from Harry Potter and his stories. Here is the first installment.

Lesson 1: “Well, well . . . I’m impressed. That suggests what you fear most of all is — fear. Very wise, Harry.” -Professor Lupin

The above quote comes from book 3 in the series and has had me thinking all day. Most people set there fears on specific things such as spiders, heights, water, death, and even commitment.

Harry Potter, as is suggested, fears most of all fear itself. Someone who fears fear is most likely to confront and overcome anything they suspect might scare them. Is this wise?

I am suggesting that our friend Professor Lupin from the story was right, and that this practice/attitude is wise. Why? What is to be gained by confronting and overcoming things that scare you? There are a few simple and logical answers.

1. Overcoming fears will mean that you are scared of less things. This can only be a good thing.

2. The process of confronting fear will only strengthen your character, giving you more power to deal with the conflicts that life gives us.

3. Fearing fear itself gives you a strong understanding of reality and thus gives you more freedom in life to take action and pursue happiness.

People who struggle with fears but are too weak to confront them, face two very large problems. First is that they are bound to live life in constant fear. Second being that their ability to deal with conflicts is generally weakened as they continue to “run” away from the things they fear.

It certainly works for Harry in the story. Although Harry sometimes plunges into dangerous situations unwisely, it is foolishness and not a lack for fear than often puts him in danger. His ability to confront fear instead of dread it however proves to be a helpful trait. It allows him to think logically when under stress, and to do what is frankly necessary regardless what the consequences might be. Harry Potter fans will mistakenly notice this reoccurring pattern throughout the literary saga.

I suggest we all follow Harry’s example and confront our fears head on. By fighting them we increase our own ability to live life to its fullest and function within a true reality of our environment.

Overcoming fear does not mean we need to put ourselves in danger to prove we can handle it. If you are scared of lightning it may not be necessary to stand on top of a hill in a puddle of water during a thunderstorm. It does mean you need to learn the true reality of how lightning works and live in caution but not fear.

I leave you with this final thought; Fear Not. Fear is a tool used to keep you at bay, controllable, and weak. Confront it and overcome its power over you. This will make you both free and strong!

Ask yourself this question… what would your bugart transform into?

Jacob S Paulsen

The first weekend of June I had a unique opportunity to do some executive protection work (bodyguard) for some well known people visiting Salt Lake City for a convention. Many of you may not know that while I’m an internet marketer and a network marketer, by trade I’m a security professional.

The company convention was that of a relatively new MLM named Zrii. The CEO and owner is Bill Farley, owner of the White Sox and he and his family’s safety were my primary concern throughout the three day convention but we also had a guest visit from both Deepak Chopra and Anthony Robbins for whom we were also responsible.

While I of course don’t mean to promote Zrii in this post I do want to share some insights that I learned from these great speakers and people both on stage and backstage.

Deepak Chopra. Deepak when you see this article in your google alerts email on your blackberry you will remember that I’m the guy that followed you around in Salt Lake that weekend. The content that Deepak delivered was great and I admit that even though its my job to not pay attention to him but instead the crowd, I struggled.

I think the general theme of his speech was understanding the “soul” of the man and how it is connected to the mind and body. Very intriguing and and I must say very original. There was no question to his credibility and while he wasn’t exactly full of energy I still felt like the audience was very connected and aware. It made me want to buy some of his books!

What was he like backstage? Deepak was very in the zone before he went on stage. He wasn’t annoying or stuck up but just focused. Despite him wanting to be truly alone he accepted every visitor who came back to make his acquaintance. That having been said he was generally quiet and reserved.

I think I would have seen a more lively side of him if he hadn’t had a cold. He wasn’t able to stay on site very long and on the way back t

o the hotel from the venue he spent most of the time reviewing his google alerts on his blackberry. When he finished he asked me about Salt Lake. He either was sincerely interested in Salt Lake, felt awkward in the silence, or just wanted to chat with me a little. Either way we had a nice little chat on the way back to the hotel and I felt his transparency in his character. I liked him.

Anthony Robbins. Anthony Robbins does somehow seem to live a life of the constant passion for which he is so well know for on stage. He doesn’t travel alone and on this trip had his own stage assistant, sound manager, and “handler.” I also understand that he is rarely away from his wife but this was one of those rare occasions.

On stage he did a great job of delivering what I suspect he normally would consider his 3 day signature seminar in about 4 hours. Once again I wasn’t supposed to be paying close attention but a couple of the key things I will remember were his phrase, “motion creates emotion,” which effectively means that we can control how we feel by our own body posture and movement. He demonstrated this by inviting the entire crowd to do several 90 second role plays.

What was he like backstage? Best put, he was friendly. He just seemed to like people and everyone around felt that. He agreed without question to take a picture with me and the other security guys and that was super cool.

In talking to a member of his staff I also learned that his travel schedule is extreme. He is constantly going from one place to another and due to his tendency to stay on stage until he feels he is done he is often cutting it really close to the wire. To be quite frank I don’t know how he keeps it up. It seems exhausting.

Oh and also just a quick note that I met Thurl Bailey at the convention and he is AWESOME!!!

I get a lot of phone calls from online friends who need assistance in setting up their websites and their social media profiles to begin working in internet marketing and social networking. Every once in awhile I think to myself that I should write a 2 page guide to “Online Domination Setup” which I could just email to these people who call me.

Today is that day. If you already have a website with 1000 plus visitors per week and more than 3000 twitter followers I would suggest you stop reading now and seek higher level training. For those of you who are still beginners here is what you need to know in less than two pages. To prove it I have provided a downloadable PDF file at the end of this post.

Online Marketing Umbrella Concepts:

First, you basically separate all of your online work and websites into these 3 categories:

1. Social Media – This is where you meet people and create relationships with them… NOTHING MORE.
2. Personal Website – This is where people you meet who want to learn more about you will come to do so. Your personal site needs to be in the form of a blog and it needs to contain informational, inspirational, and entertaining content. If best find a specific niche where with you can help your readers. The “niche” of this website is “Becoming More, Inspiration & Resources for Entrepreneurs.”
3. Sales Pages. This is where you will sell your products and opportunities to those who visited your personal site and wanted to know what you do for a living and to those who searched you out in search engines, etc.

Second, You will need to create a HUGE following in social media in order to really make a difference. This will require…

1. Sincerity. You will have to really care about the people you meet and have their best interests at heart
2. Marketing Ethics. Don’t SPAM people. (IE: marketing without permission or relationship)
3. Time. This will not happen over night. Do a little everyday over a long period of time and results will come.

TO DOs of Getting Started…

1. Get Your Own Website Started:
   1. Get a hosting account at either Godaddy or hostmonster. If you choose Godaddy get the deluxe hosting or higher. Buy the domain www.yourname.com as this will be the most important real estate you own in the virtual world. This one hosting account will allow you to host dozens of different websites down the road and it is necessary to get one eventually… why not now.
   2. Install WordPress onto the main directory of your website. This can be done painlessly with either Godaddy or Hostmonster. There are tons of tutorial videos on Youtube and I also have some on the “Tutorials” page of my site. Watch these same tutorials to help you set up your WordPress site with the best themes, plugins, etc.
   3. Decide what your online niche is going to be. Are you the Mountain Biking Kenyan who owns his own home business? Sorry, that’s already taken…
   4. Create content for your site and remember content should generally be either informative/educational, personal, or entertaining.
   5. Find a way to monetize your site by putting relevant ads onto your page from a affiliate group such as Linkshare or CommissionJunction If you already have your own products/opportunity to market put ads up for it or perhaps its own page.
2. Create a strong presence in Social Media. Focus on YouTube.com, Facebook, and Twitter but also any other network that is specific to your own niche or market. Example: if you live in Brazil you are likely to also focus on Orkut.comwhich is the most popular Brazilian social media site. Here are some tips:
   1. Create profiles that are both personal and professional in nature. You don’t want people to think you are a robot, but you don’t want them to think you are an amateur either.
   2. Don’t go on an adding friend frenzy. Search out and connect with the type of people that share your interests or make up your target market
   3. Don’t spread yourself to thin. If you are going to have a presence then have a real active presence.
   4. Don’t be a hypocrite. Don’t ask anyone to spend time looking at or commenting on your content unless you are willing and actively doing the same for them.
   5. Search out the best tools that allow you to syndicate content and increase your followers without spending tons of money. In my experience the paid tools are barely any better than the free ones and usually come with a sales pitch of their own.
3. Continue Your Education… by subscribing to blogs and sites to people who can help you grow. The easiest way to do this is by using an RSS reader like Google Reader. Go to http://reader.google.com and you will figure out without too much effort how to get started subscribing to other people’s sites. You will also find that most sites (like mine) have a subscribe option somewhere on the page. (top right). Your google reader will let you know every time someone who’s site you follow writes a new article/post and you will be able to keep up to date with the latest content without having to visit everyone’s site everyday.

Online Marketing Resources:

• PixelPipe.com Picture Syndication
• Ping.fm Status Update, Micro-Blogging Syndication
• TubeMogul.com Video Syndication
• TweetLater.com Schedule Tweets and Auto-Follow/Auto-UnFollow + Auto DMs
• Reader.google.com Best RSS reader for subscribing to other people’s blogs.
• Feedburner.com Program owned by Google that will help you give people to option of subscribing to your site via email.

Online Marketing Explanations:

• WordPress: WordPress is the BEST program to use to host your website, blog, or both. This is true for three basic reasons.
  • The way it interacts with the Search Engines is PERFECT!!!
  • The versatility of how it will perform or look is second to none
  • The ability for non geeky folk to be able to use it and not screw anything up is amazing
• Youtube, Facebook, & Twitter are the most important simply because they are the most popular. I would encourage you to find other social networks specific to your hobbies, passions, and specific product/opportunity.
• In setting up your sales pages as explained above you will use your same hosting account. Just buy a new domain, host it in a sub-directory (folder) and install WordPress.

Favorite WordPress Plugins: (See my tutorial videos on the “Tutorials” page for descriptions and instructions.

• All In One SEO
• Google XML Sitemap
• Google Analytics for WordPress
• Cforms
• Social Media Page

Download this Page in PDF Form.

What are my Top 10? Top 10 of what? Everything:

Top 10 Most Important Habits of Success

1. Regular Planning/Goal Setting Sessions
2. Daily Exercise
3. Early to Bed, Early to Rise
4. Education Driven, Studious
5. Absolute Integrity
6. Belief in and worship of a higher being
7. Humility
8. Clock Builder, not Time Teller
9. Strong Support Team At Home (AKA Family)
10. Charity

Top 10 Personal Development/Business books:

1. 7 Habits
2. 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership
3. Atlas Shrugged
4. Rich Dad Poor Dad
5. Raving Fans
6. The Speed of Trust
7. Good to Great
8. Who Took my Money?
9. Think and Grow Rich
10. The E-Myth Revisited

Top 10 Most Inspirational Movies

1. Rudy
2. Pistol Pete
3. Without Limits
4. Remember the Titans
5. Pursuit of Happyness
6. The Miracle
7. The Legend of Bagger Vance
8. The Truman Show
9. Cinderella Man
10. Forest Gump
11. October Sky

Top 10 Other Favorite Books

1. Porter Rockwell
2. 1776
3. All Harry Potter Books
4. The Count of Monte Cristo
5. The Cronicles of Narnia
6. Hmm…. I guess all I read are the business books

Top 10 Favorite Social Media Tools

1. Ping.fm
2. PixelPipe
3. Tweetlater
4. Twitter Karma
5. My Android cell phone
6. WordPress
7. Email Marketer
8. Commission Junction
9. Google Analytics
10. Tube Mogul

Top 10 Most often used programs on my computer

1. Firefox
2. Skype
3. Camtasia
4. Filezilla
5. Itunes
6. Format Factory
7. Microsoft Office (of course)
8. Quickbooks
9. Gmote
10. Google Desktop

Top 10 Favorite Web Sites

1. Goodreads
2. Twitter
3. Facebook
4. AndroidSocialMedia
5. Start Geocaching
6. WebcastRooms
7. BuddyRunner
8. Youtube
9. My Website
10. Orkut

Getting Personal…

Top 10 things you didn’t know about me (maybe)

1. I’m an avid runner
2. I’m obsessed with guns and wish I worked for the secret service
3. I’m a certified NRA instructor and teach Utah CCW Classes
4. I’m deaf in one ear
5. I read/write/speak Portuguese fluently
6. I live in Utah right now but want to move to Colorado ASAP
7. I don’t really follow any sports at all
8. I think that men without a gun and a dog are not really men.
9. I currently have ownership in 4 business that are not my MLM business
10. I’m Mormon

Top 10 Most Favorite Things (In case you hadn’t figured them out by now)

1. My Cell Phone
2. Porter Rockwell
3. GeoCaching
4. Action Flicks
5. Guns, Security, and related things
6. AudioBooks
7. Dogs
8. US History
9. Eating
10. Making Money